I wonder how many of these things men over 40 in Rockford still have in their collection.

There are certain pinnacles in a man's life. When you reach particular age levels, you are expected to act, dress, and talk in certain ways. It seems like I never fit into that scenario. I can imagine many men in Rockford feel the same way as me, but I'm sure the women of Rockford wish we did.

According to bestlifeonline.com

"Here's a list of things men over 40 shouldn't own"

Let's see how I do.

  • Hoodies - It's all I wear in the winter.
  • Acoustic Guitar - I have an electric.
  • Flip Flops - Wear them all summer.
  • Tracksuits - After The Sopranos, I couldn't do it.
  • Funny Ties - I don't wear any ties.
  • Velcro Wallets - I had a Judas Priest one in middle school.
  • Scooters - No thank you, I'd break too many bones.
  • "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu - I don't like reading.
  • Wine Bottles As Candle Holders - In college I used liquor bottles.
  • Certain Specialized Deodorant - Mine is just regular.
  • Bowling Shoes - I stole a pair in high school, but never wore them.
  • Guy Fieri Haircut - That's way too much work.
  • Enormous Piles of Laundry - I'm pretty good at keeping up with it.
  • Shot Glasses - Gave them all away.
  • AOL Email Address - Never had one, get made fun of for having a yahoo one.
  • Speedo - Never!
  • Jail Cell Story - Don't want to do that ever again.
  • Keychain Bottle Opener - I have too many keys to own a keychain.
  • Gamer Injuries - Don't play enough.
  • Burning Man Friends - Never been, but I do have concert buddies.
  • Baseball Caps - I rock them all the time.
  • Lucky Piece of Clothing - No, never had.
  • Roommate - A family is hard enough.
  • Band T-Shirts - I have a closet full.
  • Tinder Account - Never!
  • Wallet Chains - Back in my grunge days.
  • Themed Bedsheets - Not since Star Wars in grade school.
  • Bed Without A Frame - Where would I hide stuff.
  • Bong - Too hard to hide.
  • Skinny Jeans - Nobody wants to see that.
  • Frozen Pizza Rolls - They are my daughter's.
  • Unstamped Passport - Mine actually has stamps.
  • Unframed Posters - Most of them are in frames.
  • Girlfriend Born In The Clinton Years - Wife wouldn't allow it.
  • Tattoo Less Than 5 Years Old - I think mine are older.
  • Fast Food Condiment Packet Collection - It feels wasteful throwing them out.
  • Buddy On Your Couch - Refer back to roommate.
  • Black Eye - Too old to fight.
  • Drop-Crotch Pants - Nope.
  • Yellow Hummer - LOL.
  • Grandma's Hand-Me-Down Couch - Do in-laws count?
  • Selfie Stick - Not gonna happen.
  • Childhood Arts and Crafts - Threw them all out.
  • Pokemon Cards - I'm not a nerd.
  • Beer Can or Liquor Bottle Collection - Recycled for money in college.
  • Sports Team Themed Wall - Gotta support the team.
  • Keepsakes From Fast Food Restaurants - I swear they are my daughter's.
  • Hacky Sacks - I don't have those kinds of skills.
  • Jorts - Does this include cargo shorts?
  • Flip Phone - I have an iPhone 7.

Well, I guess I have some work to do.

How did you do?


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