Stories like this make me want to permanently wear a cup or some kind of medieval crotch armor for protection.

A guy in Indian Harbour Beach, Florida called the cops last week after he had an argument with his 27-year-old girlfriend Katie Lee Pitchford, and she attacked him.

She grabbed his testes and he says she, "squeezed them until they were bleeding."

She also choked him and punched him in the face, but those sound way less painful than the scrotum thing, all things considered.

She was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery.

Read more at The Smoking Gun.