Retired Chicago Police Detective J.J Bitterbinder wants to set the record straight on one thing from Comedian John Mulaney's latest Netflix Special Kid Gorgeous at Radio City. He would never wear a cowboy hat with a three-piece suit.

Chicago native and former SNL writer, Comedian John Mulaney in his latest Netflix Stand-Up Special, uses about 10 minutes of his one-hour set to talk about his school's "street smart" presentations at school assemblies.

Any child of the 80's/90's can remember being scared to death of being kidnapped. Every school had their own version of the "stranger danger"' program designed to strike fear into the hearts of kids, so they would never talk or go off with strangers.

My best friend growing up's Mom wouldn't let her ride her bike anywhere for this very reason. Mulaney's recount of his school's program is that is "haunts me to this day".

In Kid Gorgeous, Mulaney recounts how his school had the same speaker every year. It was a detective by the name of J.J. Bitterbinder. He described him as a man with a handlebar mustache while wearing three-piece suits, and a pocket watch. Two years in a row, Mulaney said Bitterbinder wore a cowboy hat.

Here's were Bitterbinder has issues. Telling the Chicago Tribune that he never wore a cowboy hat to the schools when he spoke. Going on to say:

I never wore my cowboy hat to the schools. Now, I have been on cattle drives. I did 11 cattle drives and 11 cattle roundups in a ranch outside of Cody, Wyo., but that’s a separate deal. You don’t wear a three-piece suit with a cowboy hat. That just doesn’t work. Doesn't look good,”

Also telling the Tribune he "didn't appreciate" the comment made about his name.

John Mulaney's representative didn't return the Chicago Tribune's request for comment. But Mulaney did recently talk to James Corden on The Late Late Show and say this about it:

Bitterbinder ended his interview by say that:

“If I talked to him when he was 7 or 8 and he still remembers some of that stuff, it must have gotten through to him,”

Which sorta falls into the whole imitation is the best sort of flattery scenario.



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