8 Things to Never Say to a Bartender

Seriously people, get your act together.

I was a bartender for many years, and my husband still makes an awesome living doing so. He works at one of the most popular night clubs in the Chicagoland area serving thousands of customers a night. He usually comes home around 4 or 5 in the morning after a long night of serving the masses.

My favorite thing to do is ask him how his day was. There is never a shortness of tales from the previous nights drunken idiots. He and his fellow bartenders even started a game about how many people they will see cry each night. Ah, fun out of someones drunken misery.

I asked him what his biggest pet peeves are as a bartender and his response was hilarious.

1. Don't slam your glass down, wave or shout to get our attention because you need another drink. We see you, we will get to you.

2. Don't think that bartenders know every shot on the planet. Just because you ordered something that one night in Cabo doesn't mean that I'm going to know what it is. Don't get offended if I have no idea what your 'super-fruity-lollipop-creamsicle-shot' is.

3. Verbal tipping is not acceptable. We like five, ten or twenty dollar bills. Unfortunately we are not able to pay our bills with 'you are the best bartender ever!!'

4. If you are in a group, get your s--t together and order all at once. I assure you, we can remember more than one drink at a time.

5. When you order less ice in a drink, do not expect more booze and don't complain when you can't taste the alcohol. You basically ordered a glass of soda or juice.

6. Don't ask me if your friend can have a free shot for her/his birthday. They are your friend, why am I responsible for buying the birthday person a shot?

7. Keep your damn hands off my cherries, olives and oranges. My fruit tray is not your buffet.

8. Don't tell me you are going to 'hook me up with a fat tip' on your next time up for a drink. You have paid me in change. Odds are you have said that line to all the other bartenders in the bar already, and it's just my turn around. Actions speak louder than words.

The longer the list got, the angrier my husband became. Take a page from his book of advice, and be nice to your bartenders.