Would Pizza Keep Your Hands out of Your Pants?

This is a lawsuit that has made me lose my appetite, and I love pizza.

A lawsuit filed by a group of women prison officers in Chicago is the "cheesiest" thing I've heard all day.

According to The Sun a group of women prison officers is suing their bosses because of what they had to "witness". The amount of "self-love" these officers had to witness by these "serial prison masturbation addicts caused them to sue. Hold on tight, it's about to get better.

The prison officials tried to convince these "serial strokers" to stop their actions, by bribing them with pizza. If you go 30 days without doing...that, you get rewarded with pizza. The problem, (besides the lawsuit) was that this actually backfired horribly.  Prisoners who weren’t previously a problem in this "whacked out" situation started exposing themselves so they could earn the pizza rewards down the road.

I think I'll go steak or chicken tonight.