To quote the old guy in The Last Crusade, choose wisely. 

Full disclosure, this is totally ripping off the picture that's currently going viral on social media where you pick which pizza slice to eat first.

This one.

So, sorry about the unoriginal idea but you clicked and are reading this so I guess it worked.

Back to the fries.

These fries to be exact:

Which fry comes first?

In my opinion, it's fry #2. Now usually cheese distribution will dictate which fry to eat first but in this scenario, the fact that the fry is hanging precariously over the side makes it a prime candidate to fall out of the cup if you disturb any of the foundation.

Fry #2 is the correct choice.

You can maybe convince me that fries 1, 4, or 5 are also acceptable answers but we would eventually agree to disagree.

What I want to address, and this might be the biggest takeaway from this whole stupid blog, are the people that go right for fry #3. You people probably make horrible decisions all the time. I get it, all that cheese is pretty tempting, but you have to have a little bit of self-control. That fry is already saturated with cheese. You're essentially just "drinking" extra cheese with no potato accompaniment. You need to take advantage of that surplus cheese to distribute to some other top layer fries that maybe didn't get as much cheese love. Feel free to dive right into #3 once you've taken advantage of the extra cheddar but until then remember that patience is a virtue.

Please stay tuned for my next installment in how to eat Rockford food in a future blog titled "The Proper Way To Eat A Panizza."