Figuring out the proper wording on this one has caused me difficulty. I'm going to just cut to the chase and spell it out for you. If you are offended, just remember you clicked on this and you can let Jesus take the wheel...or something like that.

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Marco Castro, 17 who was a Senior at Wheaton North High School in Illinois is is a deep "mess" after adding HIS special sauce to the high school cafeteria's ranch dressing.

Marco is facing two misdemeanor charges, after he took the lunchrooms ranch dressing container into the boys bathroom and..."ejaculated" into the bottle. (that is the exact word used in this story SG)

Marco then returned to the lunchroom and returned the ranch bottle to the table.

You know NO high school kid can shut up, so the "telephone game" started and all of a sudden everyone knew what happened including the principal, you called "Marco-bater" into his office.

Mr. Castro admitted to what he did, and was disciplined and then the situation was turned over to the Wheaton Illinois Police Department.

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I was all about a good prank in school, but this kid is gross and a disgusting human. How about hiding a backpack, or punching your buddy in the arm while he carries his books?

Props to The Smoking Gun for this subtle headline for the story:

Illinois H.S. senior to be charged for befouling creamy condiment 

The usage of the word "creamy" is some next level stuff, allow me to give you a hand...hopefully Marco won't give you his.

 

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