Florida Man Threatens to Destroy The World With His Army of Turtles

Thomas Devaney Lane has an important message for Florida and the world...my army of turtles will destroy everyone!

Thomas was raising hell at a Starbucks, a 7-11 and some smoothie shop in Florida according to Click Orlando. Once officers removed the screaming Florida man from his vehicle, he kept yelling that he was a saint and that everyone would be sorry....and his army of turtles would destroy everyone.

I'm curious about this army of turtles. Slow, slow, destruction? Do they have "freaking lasers" strapped to their heads?

Mr. Lane, you are crazy...but I love your slow moving plan.