Illinois’ Worst Drink Just Got Even Worse In Honor of Fall

If you've ever thought, "There can never be too much pumpkin spice" and are up for trying every new pumpkin spice product that hits the market, I triple-dog-dare you to try this Illinois original.

Have You Ever Tried Malort?

In case you don't know, Malort is a 'Chicago Icon' that was started in 1920 by a Swedish immigrant named Carl Jeppson who first made the liquor as a medicine for people suffering from stomach bugs and parasites, but production of the 'Swedish-style bitters' that we know today didn't begin until after Prohibition ended in 1933.

Malort is described as "a traditional wormwood-based digestif (that) has been thought of as a rite of passage or a hangover cure", and if you're wondering what it tastes like, all I can say is...

GARBAGE...or...like you just vomited in your mouth.

Malort is NOT good, and I don't feel bad saying that because Jeppson's Malort knows the product tastes terrible too, and they even sell merch like this poster to support that fact...  

Malort's New Fall Flavor

Just when you thought Malort couldn't taste any worse, they throw this flavor in the mix....

Can we officially say that the pumpkin spice craze has been taken too far now? I must admit though that I'm intrigued by this new flavor. What if the pumpkin spice magic actually made the liquor taste better? Would you be willing to try it now? I'm half tempted to visit CH Distillery Bar & Table at 564 W Randolph St. in Chicago to find out.

A Malort For Ranch Lovers?

I love ranch dressing on many things, but now I can't decide what disturbs me more; Pumpkin Spice Malort OR "Hidden Alley" Malort Shots.

This can't be for real, right?!?

 

 

 

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Now it's time to cleanse your pallet with some food and drink options in Chicago that actually taste good...