Fore!!!!!!!!! [VIDEO]

Every time I walk up to the tee box and prepare another horrible drive, I imagine Jim Nance whispering breathlessly into his network microphone, "Brizz is approaching his drive with his usual laser-like focus and confident swagger. There is no doubt the fairway is trembling in fear, knowing the pure power and grace behind his drives. What's that commotion? The beer cart girl is flashing Brizz, desperately trying to vy for the attention of the ballingest club-swinger since Tiger was king of the jungle..." and it goes on like that for another ten minutes or so.

What happens is the inevitable shank line-drive that careens three fairways over, nearly killing a better golfer and earning me a talking-to by the course ranger.

There are just a few spots left for the 2014 Eagle Open on Friday, September 12 at Silver Ridge Golf Course in Oregon, IL. It's only sixty bucks a player which includes 18 holes of golf, motorized cart, exclusive Eagle Open shirt, lunch from Dicellos, on-course beverages and chance to win some big prizes! Some playday organizers offer only nine holes! Those are the same people who say 'I love you' in sign language when they think they're being metal.

If you don't want to be hit by one of my errant golf shots, I suggest you stand right in the middle of the fairway or near the hole. I don't seem to end up in those area very often. FORE!!!!!!!!!!!

I can relate to the guy at 1:10.