Wisconsin Man Arrested For Doing Gross, Perverted Things to a Couch

This gives a whole new meaning to "love seat." Sorry, I had to...that was a softball right over the middle of the plate. HUFFPOST

An off-duty police officer was out for a jog in Waukesha, Wisc when he noticed Gerald Streator on the side of the road, on a couch...doing things to a couch I didn't even know you could do??

Gerald was arrested for public lewdness, drumroll please...He was "doing it" to a couch. Yes, to the couch...

The off-duty officer recounts the events, brace yourself. This is beyond sick, weird, and well...sick. This is what the officer witnessed Gerald doing:

"thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.” HuffPost

Oh boy...this fella needs a some serious help and maybe some human companionship? So What type of sentence do you get for such a crime? Does your jail cell have a comfy cot? Too much?

For his couch humping, Mr. Streator received a sentence of five months in jail...No word on if he will do community service work at a furniture store, or anything like that...all though that does seem appropriate.

This Waukesha, Wisc man obviously has issues. Furniture is for sitting, laying down, maybe even standing on if you are three or four years old. NOT what Gerald was busted for, bad Gerald.

I wonder what Gerald would do inside an old wooden shoe?