There’s Not Enough Weed in Illinois to be as High as This Guy

Well if this segment of "at least it wasn't Rockford" doesn't write itself for Double T, I don't know what will. WGN

This mugshot says an awful lot, doesn't it? After reading the story about Theodore there's no denying what was going on. No bag of Doritos were safe.

Found inside this man's car when pulled over: edibles, glass pipe, and a vape pen...No sign of Visine.

Theodore John Evans was pulled over for reckless driving and cops reported that he was "high and happy," when he was arrested. No...really? This guy had zero cares, gave zero "f's."

Mr. Evan's Toyota was spotted:

• Running red lights
• Passing in no-passing zones 
• Not staying within the lanes
• Driving with his knees as he ate a burrito with a can of frosting (I made that part up)

Monroe County Sheriff's Deputies were quoted as saying:

"(Theodore) behaved erratically, speaking quickly and nonsensically about how high and happy he was due to his use of a vape pen."

You can't make this stuff up, Mr. High and Happy received one count of DUI and was booked in jail where his bond was set at $2,500.

I don't know how "happy" he's going to be after "coming to" and realizing that this whole thing cost him $2500.

This mugshot though, seriously: