The First Father’s Day without My Dad.
I didn't think I was gonna put this out there, but then I saw another person's discussion about it and thought well if their shared experience helped me, maybe mine would help another.
This is the first Father's Day I'll spend without my Dad. Still, a hard thing to say out loud even now and we lost him in December. But thankfully I have a lifetime of cherished memories and life lessons that get me through and are in turn passed on to my children.
There really isn't anything like losing a parent, I don't think I could properly describe it even if I wanted to. I could liken it to something like it's always a part of you and the hurt never really goes away but after time it just gets a little easier to carry around. After speaking with others who've lost a parent, this seems to be a common response.
Back in October, I was staying with my parents, Dad had just gotten put on oxygen and after everyone had gone to bed I remember singing The Beatles line boy you're gonna carry that weight a long time over and over to myself not entirely sure why. Then I listened to it again and it made more sense. Music has always been the glue of what made me and my Dad, me, and my Dad.
I wouldn't be half the music or even pop culture nerd I am today if it wasn't for my Dad. Our Saturdays were spent at Apple Tree Records and Clyde's Comics, then coming home and spinning records on the turntable. I got my first Kiss record from my Dad and years later bought my oldest the same album to welcome her to the Kiss Army.
Honestly, I could go on for hours about how fantastic, awesome, kind, hilarious, or just genuine my Dad was.
And that last word right there was, that's the kick in the gut. That's what gonna make this Father's Day a little different than years before. In no way does this mean that I won't be properly celebrating the other amazing Dads I have the privilege to have in my life, including my guy and father to my girls.
Dads are Rad and deserve their day too!!
So here's to you guys who'll get to sleep in this Sunday and maybe get a new tool, t-shirt, or homemade gift!
And to those who'll be missing someone special this weekend, I see you and it's okay. Sure we might feel a bit ickier than normal and that's fine too. We got this!
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