25 Things You Will Only Hear at a Fantasy Football Draft

Last night I went to my very first fantasy football draft. To be fair, I wasn't there to do the drafting myself. I went as moral support for my best friend, who happened to be the only girl in the league. I'm assuming that is why she wanted me to go with her.

It was held at our neighborhood watering hole, where everyone really does know your name.

As I sat with beer in hand watching I couldn't help but overhear the strange things this group of guys, and gal, said while drafting. I immediately picked up my phone and started writing them down.

What's the Wi-Fi password?
You sure have a lot of paperwork over there, I should look out for you.
These boys don't know what they are doing, this is my third fantasy football draft this week.
Get Jay Cutler? No thanks, I'm not stupid.
Whoa, you got Adrian Peterson!?
I'm missing Bachelor in Paradise for this draft.
Oh, I gotta get some wide receiver action.
He screwed me over so bad last year, that Jeremy Graham.
I can't wait until I can stand again.
(Guy) Do you really need shoes to be in this establishment? (Girl) Well, I wasn't wearing a shirt last time I was here so...
I've got my running backs in line, they are just waiting for me to click on them.
Here's the flaw, the thingy with the circles didn't have the running backs.
I'll take mine so far, yep. I'm O.K. with it.
I'm not intoxicated enough to be rambunctious.
Come on man, we got like 7 rounds to go. If you haven't gotten the team you wanted you ain't gunna get it now.
What's Yolo doing online? It's Yolo, you don't ask.
I need a tight end.
What's a napping giant!? I don't know what that means.
(Guy) Oh shoot, he only ran for 266 yards last year. (Girl) Who? (Guy) Le Garrette Blount. (Girl) Oh, did you only pick him because his name is Blount? (Guy) Ha, ha, yep!
(Guy) Buurrrrppppppp!!!! Hey, girl hey!
The pizza parties are always Saturday's. I don't ever work Saturdays!
(Guy 1) You are drinking water? (Guy 2) Yeah, I'm not drinking at all tonight. But I'm going to have this shot before I leave.
I have faith in you, just not your team.
You know more about pigskin than I do!
Last time I was here, I was singing karaoke. I ripped my shirt off singing "Gangsta's Paradise."