Things Rockford Men Over 40 Shouldn't Own

I wonder how many of these things men over 40 in Rockford still have in their collection.

There are certain pinnacles in a man's life. When you reach particular age levels, you are expected to act, dress, and talk in certain ways. It seems like I never fit into that scenario. I can imagine many men in Rockford feel the same way as me, but I'm sure the women of Rockford wish we did.

According to bestlifeonline.com

"Here's a list of things men over 40 shouldn't own"

Let's see how I do.

Hoodies - It's all I wear in the winter.
Acoustic Guitar - I have an electric.
Flip Flops - Wear them all summer.
Tracksuits - After The Sopranos, I couldn't do it.
Funny Ties - I don't wear any ties.
Velcro Wallets - I had a Judas Priest one in middle school.
Scooters - No thank you, I'd break too many bones.
"The Art of War" by Sun Tzu - I don't like reading.
Wine Bottles As Candle Holders - In college I used liquor bottles.
Certain Specialized Deodorant - Mine is just regular.
Bowling Shoes - I stole a pair in high school, but never wore them.
Guy Fieri Haircut - That's way too much work.
Enormous Piles of Laundry - I'm pretty good at keeping up with it.
Shot Glasses - Gave them all away.
AOL Email Address - Never had one, get made fun of for having a yahoo one.
Speedo - Never!
Jail Cell Story - Don't want to do that ever again.
Keychain Bottle Opener - I have too many keys to own a keychain.
Gamer Injuries - Don't play enough.
Burning Man Friends - Never been, but I do have concert buddies.
Baseball Caps - I rock them all the time.
Lucky Piece of Clothing - No, never had.
Roommate - A family is hard enough.
Band T-Shirts - I have a closet full.
Tinder Account - Never!
Wallet Chains - Back in my grunge days.
Themed Bedsheets - Not since Star Wars in grade school.
Bed Without A Frame - Where would I hide stuff.
Bong - Too hard to hide.
Skinny Jeans - Nobody wants to see that.
Frozen Pizza Rolls - They are my daughter's.
Unstamped Passport - Mine actually has stamps.
Unframed Posters - Most of them are in frames.
Girlfriend Born In The Clinton Years - Wife wouldn't allow it.
Tattoo Less Than 5 Years Old - I think mine are older.
Fast Food Condiment Packet Collection - It feels wasteful throwing them out.
Buddy On Your Couch - Refer back to roommate.
Black Eye - Too old to fight.
Drop-Crotch Pants - Nope.
Yellow Hummer - LOL.
Grandma's Hand-Me-Down Couch - Do in-laws count?
Selfie Stick - Not gonna happen.
Childhood Arts and Crafts - Threw them all out.
Pokemon Cards - I'm not a nerd.
Beer Can or Liquor Bottle Collection - Recycled for money in college.
Sports Team Themed Wall - Gotta support the team.
Keepsakes From Fast Food Restaurants - I swear they are my daughter's.
Hacky Sacks - I don't have those kinds of skills.
Jorts - Does this include cargo shorts?
Flip Phone - I have an iPhone 7.