Things Rockford Men Over 40 Shouldn’t Own
I wonder how many of these things men over 40 in Rockford still have in their collection.
There are certain pinnacles in a man's life. When you reach particular age levels, you are expected to act, dress, and talk in certain ways. It seems like I never fit into that scenario. I can imagine many men in Rockford feel the same way as me, but I'm sure the women of Rockford wish we did.
According to bestlifeonline.com
"Here's a list of things men over 40 shouldn't own"
Let's see how I do.
- Hoodies - It's all I wear in the winter.
- Acoustic Guitar - I have an electric.
- Flip Flops - Wear them all summer.
- Tracksuits - After The Sopranos, I couldn't do it.
- Funny Ties - I don't wear any ties.
- Velcro Wallets - I had a Judas Priest one in middle school.
- Scooters - No thank you, I'd break too many bones.
- "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu - I don't like reading.
- Wine Bottles As Candle Holders - In college I used liquor bottles.
- Certain Specialized Deodorant - Mine is just regular.
- Bowling Shoes - I stole a pair in high school, but never wore them.
- Guy Fieri Haircut - That's way too much work.
- Enormous Piles of Laundry - I'm pretty good at keeping up with it.
- Shot Glasses - Gave them all away.
- AOL Email Address - Never had one, get made fun of for having a yahoo one.
- Speedo - Never!
- Jail Cell Story - Don't want to do that ever again.
- Keychain Bottle Opener - I have too many keys to own a keychain.
- Gamer Injuries - Don't play enough.
- Burning Man Friends - Never been, but I do have concert buddies.
- Baseball Caps - I rock them all the time.
- Lucky Piece of Clothing - No, never had.
- Roommate - A family is hard enough.
- Band T-Shirts - I have a closet full.
- Tinder Account - Never!
- Wallet Chains - Back in my grunge days.
- Themed Bedsheets - Not since Star Wars in grade school.
- Bed Without A Frame - Where would I hide stuff.
- Bong - Too hard to hide.
- Skinny Jeans - Nobody wants to see that.
- Frozen Pizza Rolls - They are my daughter's.
- Unstamped Passport - Mine actually has stamps.
- Unframed Posters - Most of them are in frames.
- Girlfriend Born In The Clinton Years - Wife wouldn't allow it.
- Tattoo Less Than 5 Years Old - I think mine are older.
- Fast Food Condiment Packet Collection - It feels wasteful throwing them out.
- Buddy On Your Couch - Refer back to roommate.
- Black Eye - Too old to fight.
- Drop-Crotch Pants - Nope.
- Yellow Hummer - LOL.
- Grandma's Hand-Me-Down Couch - Do in-laws count?
- Selfie Stick - Not gonna happen.
- Childhood Arts and Crafts - Threw them all out.
- Pokemon Cards - I'm not a nerd.
- Beer Can or Liquor Bottle Collection - Recycled for money in college.
- Sports Team Themed Wall - Gotta support the team.
- Keepsakes From Fast Food Restaurants - I swear they are my daughter's.
- Hacky Sacks - I don't have those kinds of skills.
- Jorts - Does this include cargo shorts?
- Flip Phone - I have an iPhone 7.
Well, I guess I have some work to do.
How did you do?
Video: National Can Crushing Day