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New Illinois Laws for 2014

Police officer handing driver ticket
Mark Wilson, Getty Images

Well, ‘Tis The Season for new laws to be put in effect for the New Year.  In the spirit of rock and roll… of course rules are meant to be broken.  But you may not want to break these.  Here are a few laws that we think are worth a mention:

1.  NO CELL PHONES WHILE DRIVING UNLESS THEY’RE COMPLETELY HANDS FREE.  Yep, starting in 2014 you have to have one of those little Blue Tooth thingys for your ear.  (Although, your Blue Tooth headset or speakerphone are only acceptable if they can be activated by a voice command or single-button touch.)  Just do us a favor, take them out when you are walking through a store.  I don’t want to have to look at you and assume you are having a wonderful and obnoxious conversation with yourself.  If you get caught holding a phone to your ears, you could be subject to a $75 fine.

2.   UNDER 18? NO TANNING FOR YOU.  Younger people were allowed (under previous Illinois law) to tan with their parents’ permission.  But study after study says tanning increases the risk of cancer.  NO ONE under the age of 18 may tan unless with doctor’s permission.  Thank heavens there will be one less orange teen running around the streets.

3.  CAN’T TAN… BUT YOU CAN VOTE IN THE PRIMARY IF YOU’LL BE 18 BY THE GENERAL ELECTION.  If you are able to vote in the General Election, you should be able to help select who you will be voting for.  Makes sense to me.

4.  IF YOU PICK OUT A SICK PUPPY, THE PET STORE HAS TO TAKE IT BACK AND/OR PAY FOR YOUR VET BILLS.  If only you could do that with other things…

5.  HEY SMOKERS, NO MORE THROWING YOUR CIGARETTE BUTTS OUT THE WINDOW.  It is now considered littering and can get you a fine of $50.

6.  YOUR KIDS’ SCHOOL CAN’T CHECK THEIR EMAIL OR FACEBOOK PAGES WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.  Well ok, but shouldn’t they not be on Facebook anyways?  (Shameless plug… have you added Eagle Classic Rock on Facebook yet?  I suggest you do so.)

7.   In the words of Sammy Hagar… “I can’t drive 55,” and you don’t have to either.  YOU CAN NOW GO 70 ON ILLINOIS INTERSTATES.  (Obviously make sure that it is posted as 70.)  Counties in Chicagoland are able to opt out if they choose.

8.  Don’t speed in construction zones.  Just don’t.  But if you do,  THERE ARE NOW HIGHER PENALTIES FOR SPEEDING BY WORKERS AND LOWER PENALTIES WHEN THE WORK-SITE IS EMPTY.

9.  And while we are at it, stop passing school buses when they are stopped.  It’s illegal.  A NEW CAMERA IS ON SCHOOL BUSES THAT ARE SHARED WITH POLICE.  So if you go barreling past it, say cheese.

10.  IF YOU AND YOUR EX HAVE JOINT CUSTODY, YOU MUST ASK IF HE OR SHE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE YOU HIRE SOMEONE.  This will provoke some arguments I’m sure.

So, there you have it friends… you are welcome.  Have a wonderful and safe New Year!  For a list of all the new laws in Illinois 2014 click here.

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