Dateline, West Virginia. The Milton Police Department is reporting on apparently "drunk and disoriented" raccoons.

“Ptl Scarberry made his first apprehension today, taking this masked bandit into custody with assistance of Sgt Collins and several neighborhood residents, Ptl Withers caught one yesterday on Brickyard Ave with the help of the city street department. Today’s culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort.”

According to this story, these raccoons get all lit up by eating fermented crab apples and then it's on.

Here is a video, not of the crab apple drunk raccoons...but of a raccoon that drank beer. Enjoy!